Wonderful idea! this means so very much to me and the many GLBT Baha'is who have been silenced, and set aside as if our stories and lives are inconsequential.

Bless you for doing this!

I look forward to seeing this wonderful idea grow and mature... all my very best!

Daniel Orey
Sacramento, California

Thank you for starting this! I think sharing our stories is one of the most powerful ways we can create change.

Erin Rook
Portland, Ore.

words fail me... thanks so much for starting this project!

Sonja van Kerkhoff, The Netherlands

Are you going to post these stories anywhere... it seems a waste not to send them to the institutions...... geese...... I wish I could stop being so trusting ......I suddenly saw these stories arriving at the UHJ ....and being filed ... ie not valid.. such a omtimist I am ..hope dashed oh well same old same old, I guess there is no rest in "the good idea" and the wall of this place..

Lesley Anne -

I suspect the UHJ is aware of this website by now. The hope is that the entire Baha'i community will become aware of it slowly, over time, and that in reading the stories at least some Baha'is will begin to seriously and thoughtfully examine their prejudice toward gays. At some point in future, when there is a generous collection of stories, they will be put together in "hard copy" and made available to those who are interested - that is the hope and the plan, God willing.

I am touched beyond words by the stories already submitted. Stories have great power; they touch the deepest part of ourselves. "Thank you" is my very feeble and inadequate expression to those who find the courage to put their experience into words to benefit us all.

Barb

Thanks Barb... I have been wondering about aproaching the faith. I would so much like to be a part of a community again. One can not undo the logic of the faith..the knowing the truth of the techings and understanding the progression ...it is very frustrating not being able to 'belong'..I see myself as not able to be bahai even though I have accepted and understand the implications of who Baha 'ullah is....I can not get past the fact that Gods People rejected me therefore I must be some how unexseptable no matter how I try to logic things away... I am a Bahai but I never will be. I live in a dual space .. one of knowing and one of having no spiritual home ..... to survive this space one does not think too deeply as logic distroys any fragile platue possibility... Thinking produces questions and answers that can not be asked or replied...I am ...a creation of God... I am Lesbian ...I am diversity...of God's creation ...what happened to the unity and diversity retoric in the faith..If you dont include you exclude.. if you exclude one it is not unity. So unsatisfying and unrestful..Maybe I wont contact the faith ..lol .and just post here in stead. There is no other place anyway is there!!! And goodness knows what happens to my soul when this world gives way to the next???? We might have our own Gay and Lesbian Bahai Cloud ..who knows ...one has to think light of it all ...float over the implications of expulsion
m

Lesley Anne -

Baha'u'llah's Revelation belongs to the people, to all of us. Whether we accept or reject it, this revelation is a gift bequeathed to all the peoples of this world. You are acceptable to God - that is all that matters. The UHJ cannot change that. We must live as if we understand that truth.

Barb

A bit of clarification here on my above comment. It is the Baha'is who are rejecting their own gays/lesbians - it is not God who is doing this, and "God's people" are wrong. They do not yet understand that gay/lesbian Baha'is are a gift to the community - not an affliction. The only way I can think of to help Baha'is understand the error of their ways is to offer these stories for their thoughtful consideration. And I want gay/lesbian Baha'is to understand that there is no need to apologize for who they are - they are as God created them to be. And they really are a gift to the community - I'm not just saying that. It is the community that is at fault here, not the gays/lesbians who are a part of it. And it is a terrible loss to the community for gay/lesbian Baha'is to drop out - though I certainly don't blame them for doing it, considering the atmosphere they have to live in.

I still have hope that these stories will, over time, begin to change hearts, and if hearts change, the Baha'i community will begin to change. There's too much good in the Baha'i Faith to just let it all go down the drain due to ignorant prejudice.

Barb

you are wrong, it is the teachings of the Faith that says homosexuality is wrong.

Clearly, Baha'u'llah desires that we should be united and treat all people in a fair and kindly manner. At the same time, clearly there are certain kinds of behavior He condemns. In our individual lives, then, we must strive to live according to His laws and teachings on both fronts, avoiding behavior He condemns while striving to treat others, regardless of their compliance with His laws, with fairness and kindness.

Baha'is, of course, are human, so it's not too surprising if we fail at this balancing act time and time again. We can strive to improve. What we cannot do as Baha'is, at least not honestly, is set aside His laws because they don't fit with our desires or what the world at large considers "enlightened". The Baha'i Faith is not merely a social club or even merely a progressive social organization. It is a revelation from God. Baha'u'llah revealed the Word of God for the next 1,000 years and gave us God's laws and teachings for the next 1,000 years. While this is a framework within which there is considerable flexibility (and the Institutions were given to us by Baha'u'llah in part to safeguard and employ that flexibility for our benefit), there are some things that neither we as individuals nor the Institutions have the authority to alter.

If you are here to argue for more compassion and understanding towards those who have a hard time integrating Baha'u'llah's teachings into their lives--no matter what part of them they have problems with--then I'm with you. But if you are here to argue that Baha'is have the authority to discard whatever of Baha'u'llah's teachings they find difficult or inconvenient, then I must disagree. If someone does not believe that Baha'u'llah gave us God's teachings, then they are free to reject Him as God's Manifestation and live their life as they believe God wants them to. Nobody forces anyone to be a Baha'i, nor is there any disgrace in not being a Baha'i. But to be a Baha'i is to recognize Baha'u'llah's station as the Manifestation of God for this age, and that implies various other things which cannot honestly be ignored.

Cathy, The premise to your wonderful clear mindful retoric is that when standing where I am... You presume....I have a choise...a choise to follow the teachings and become hetrosexual... I applaud your faith...however to help you understand a little the place I am standing... I have put time in to explain...I tried hetrosexuality ..it dosnt work...I have no choise... but to choose the love I know instinctively as you know hetrosexual intimacy
Or... assuming I do have a choise... your writing is relevant .....but when considering in my initmiate understanding of myself..for Me to be happy and healthy and vibrant and loving and open and content...I dont have a choise..I am not Lesbian by choise...choise... if I had it... would have been hetrosexual and remained in the faith happy in my caring loving community that abandoned me when I was honest enough to come out to them. simple really...Humanitarian Unity and Diversity is not present in the Bahia faith because my culture is not valued and present...being hetrosexual Bahai is easy ...try for just a minute to change your intimate oriantation in your head...all Bahias are Gay and you are one of the 5-10% of hetrosexuals that are banned from being part of the Community ... do you understand how unworkable the simplicity of what you have written is. The place I stand is not about disobeying the laws ..some Divine plan created Me this way .... what I am looking for is inclusion. The welcoming culture of the Faith ...we all know and love..to all man and womyn kind. Is this not why we became Bahai?

Cathy, Baha'is honor the necessity of religion agreeing with science. This is a basic Baha'i principle. Science does not agree that homosexuality is a "choice", or that people can change their innate sexual orientation, if they are exclusively heterosexual or homosexual, and not bisexual. If we follow religion rather than science when there is a basic disagreement such as this, then we are following superstition. This is Baha'i teaching.

Also, it is always wise to walk at least a mile in another person's moccasins before making a value judgment.

Baha'is are out of step with science on this particular point. I suggest you take the time and make an effort to become acquainted with gays and lesbians in your local community (and I don't mean Baha'i community necessarily) - if there is a gay/lesbian center where you are, get acquainted with their work. Get to know people. Listen with an open mind, if you can, to what those, both gay and straight, are saying in regard to gay/lesbian rights. Listen to their stories. Following blindly is never a good idea. Be a good Baha'i and get the facts, and listen to what other people have to say - particularly the ones you think you disagree with. Diversity is a gift to us, we believe as Baha'is, but we fail to see the value of this particular kind of diversity. We deny ourselves the beauty of other human lives because we are prejudiced. Baha'is pride themselves on the elimination of prejudice. We need to get to work on getting rid of this one.

The belief that homosexuality is spiritually abhorrent contributes to a social climate which invites, and even sanctions, gay-bashing and violence toward gays/lesbians. I don't want to contribute to that climate with my beliefs. Do you?

Barb

(ex-bahai here, hetero, libertarian-integralist-populist, was part of the original "talisman group", etc.)

Leslie,

Most of the language coming out of bahai administration has one purpose: the perpetuate an endless cycle of failed bureaucratic reinvention that depends of groupthink and and a "style over substance" operational mode.

In other words, it is indifferent, if not hostile, to the very forms of profound self-examination and radical spiritual transformation that the religion was originally founded on! (Dawn Breakers, etc.)

Bahai is a rigidly orthodox religion that occasionally pretends to have progressive aspects in order to convert people that are hungry for meaning and sense of community, and who perhaps want to contribute to the advancement of humanity, world peace, equal rights, and so forth.

I greatly appreciate the continuing efforts of the reformers that hope that bahai institutions will learn to recognize the need for basic human decency, but there is very little evidence that the conformity and thought policing that has become so common in bahai culture can be reversed by mystics and progressive people. Such reformers are always targeted for coercion in some form or another by bahai culture. They either allow themselves to be assimilated into the borg-like, self-perpetuating administrative machine that "runs" the bahai faith, or they are marked as dangerous elements, dissidents, non-conformists and anti-establishmentarians that are a threat to the control freak mode of the ruling bahai elites. (which behaves like a medieval pseudo-aristocracy, anb is devoid of populist, middle class values.)

After years of observing and supporting bahai reformers, I finally realized that such reforms are probably ultimately futile. Then I found that there are far better movements, philosophies and theologies (e.g., Buddhism, Integralism).

Bahai, being Judeo-Christian-Islamic in its origins, attempts to perpetuate a model of spirituality that is premodern. In reality no prophets/profits/manisfestations are needed for people to directly access spirituality. It is part of how our brains were wired by the evolutionary plan of the Kosmos. No priest classes are needed. And make no mistake, the fundamentalists and other creeps that have taken over bahai administration are exactly the same corrupt, control and power hungry priest archetypes that have existed from the beginning of organized western religion (when irrigation was invented and a priest class was needed to enforce water sharing rules). Most of the cool mystical stuff in bahai was borrowed from Sufism, which borrowed it from earlier forms of spirituality, which confirmed the capacity of all humanity to directly access transcendence via a variety of spiritual practices and methods, none of which need to be exclusively elevated over any other.

No goofy priests are needed. No goofy administrators are needed.

Now that humanity knows that evolution brought us all forth out of the star dust and gave us the potential to reach enlightenment within our communities, we can self-validate our humanity and spirituality, and form community amongst ourselves, without corrupt institutions, and work for equality and to democratize power and wealth without a sick, dysfunctional organizational culture infecting everything and making the work of enlightenment fail.

Bahai is predominantly a dysfunctional bureaucracy whose foundational paradigm is outmoded and stasist. The controlling elites rely on group think, not innovation. It is a weak religion that has been hijacked by establishmentarians and fundamentalists.

You can reach into the heights of the Kosmos and attain transcendance without a religion that makes you act like a slave to a outmoded model of false prophetology. There is nothing between you and God (realization of transcendance/enlightenment) that your friends and loved ones and guides can't help you overcome. Bahai organization (which is cult-like) will always fail to do so unless you adopt a dehumanizing, servile posture, which is exactly the opposite of what will lead to the advancement of humanity, love, or peace.

Following a cult-like religious organization will not lead to world peace, but fighting one might.

Never let anyone have power over your destiny or try to control your reach for truth and meaning, especially the people running an ineffective, corrupt religious organization.

May you be blessed by the warm embrace of the spirit of light, love, and happiness.

Cathy,

bahaullah condems corrupt religion, but the people running and supporting bahai administration are corrupt.

their whole agenda of bahai administration is to turn people into spiritual slaves, and to force people into conformism.

the inquisitorial coercion that is used in bahai culture, by cynical or appallingly stupid and inept people in the ruling bahai elites (administration) is the very definition of a dehumanizing, dysfunctional organizational practice.

Reformers, critics, non-conformists and dissidents, especially those that believe in the need for independent, free-thought, equal rights, democracy and rationalism, are marginalized and attacked in bahai. the attackers are always people that have a sick hunger for control and power. they are usually fundamentalists.

in other words, they merely pay lip service to the real bahai teachings.

have you ever asked yourself why bahai's ruling classes needs to scapegoat gays, critics and dissidents?

if so, you must know, in some unpolluted small corner of your soul, that the truth is that such scapegoating simply functions to create a false sense of moral/ethical normality for the ruling classes who are actually mired in a system of injustice and inequality that is based on dysfunctional (spiritually bankrupt) archetypes that goes back thousands of years.

this is the emptiness of bahai, and what feeds the sick need to "convert" gullible, needy people.

this is the dehumanizing, ugly, insincere nature of bahai.

detach and forget all the bahai lies and learn to treat your fellow citizens of planet earth with some basic human decency for a change.

no one needs the bogus paradigm of prophetic religion to directly experience transcendent, mystic spirit.

the scam of such religion has come to and end.

servile attitudes toward failed religious organizations that are based on irrational theologies do not advance humanity down the path of enlightenment.

Hi Fubar,

I am letting your post stand, but I considered deleting it, and may yet do so. On the main page here are guidelines for submitting either stories or comments. "Moderation of speech is appreciated. Abusive or inflammatory language may disqualify a post." People are free to express their opinions here, but I expect all to be careful of their language. Name-calling is not okay. Casting aspersions is not okay. I am deeply reluctant to remove anyone's post - I prefer to let people say what they have to say. I think you could have made your point without some of the language you have used. Implying, for instance, that someone's soul is polluted is not your place, nor is it mine. Please read the guidelines if you submit again, and consider the goal of love and reconciliation, as well as celebration and education.

Having said that, I appreciate your taking the time to contribute a comment. I sometimes feel discouraged that more people are not commenting or submitting stories, though there is a lot of traffic - lots of people are reading stuff here.
I do wonder sometimes if most gay Baha'is, and their friends and loved ones, are fine with the way things are, and I am a rare bird for being concerned. I am determined, however, to keep this space available for anyone who has a story to tell or a comment to offer. So, thanks for contributing.

Barb

Barb,

Thanks for keeping Fubar's post , I do not agree with some of his strong wording , however like me he is upset, and sometimes we just lash out from all the pent up emotion and crap we deal with being gays in the Faith. I want to be an agent for change, change in how fellow Baha'is can see we as gay people are human, that we want a well-rounded life that our straight peers can attain. I took my husband to my sister's Baby Shower thrown by her Baha'i community , everyone treated us just fine, my family and I are going to normalize my being gay and married to the largest extent we can. If I loose my Administrative Rights , so be it. If back bitting is the most grievious of sins , then the whole Baha'i World needs to collectively loose thier Administrative Rights (like that will ever happen). I wish we as a Baha'i community were all on the same page , I know I am lucky to some extent. At the very least Baha'i communities should turn a blind eye towards gay people who choose to share their life with someone. If the Law is just on the physical sexual act , then that is behind closed doors and is private. We need to be embraced by the Baha'i world for the productive , caring, creative people we are , we are a lost treasure indeed! I envision a day when our strengths as gay people will emblazen the Baha'i world like nothing before, until that time occurs people like I will be patiently waiting in the wings reluctant to share the Message of Baha'u'llah to our fellow gay community.

Barb,

I do thank you tremendously for this website. My tears could not stop in reading of others who held such love for their Faith, and yet were so conflicted - knowing Shoghi Effendi's interpretations of Baha'u'llah's Words, and at the same time experiencing such an alternate knowledge in their experience of romantic love (that happens to be same-sex).

Although I'm used to such accusations, I do not appreciate (though one is free to say it) the claim that gays & lesbians are simply putting aside the word of God for their own desires. It is a lot more complex. Abdu'l-Baha says be a lover of the light, no matter from what horizon it may appear. So as a gay woman, when I experienced light and truth in a place that there supposedly wasn't, there was inner conflict. And yes, like Barb said, it simply seems to contradict the spirit and principles of the Faith.

Cheers, and happy holidays.

Thank you, Nuuka, for your kind and encouraging words.

Barb

Allah'u'abhá friends. I am a gay man and Baha’i living with my seeker husband in a small Baha’i community in nsw. I have just read the above posts and find that at times in post we get people who would sow dissension in us I am gay and there is only one direct prohibition that applies to homosexuality in the Most holy book the other is vague and possibly misunderstood. And that is of sodomy. This is not owned only by gay men and well I don’t know about Lesbians.
I live my life as if married with my husband, we had a commitment ceremony. I observe the fast I pray and try to be active in the Baha’i community due to the fact that no matter how wrong or right it is to be gay straight or bi I believe that Baha'u'llah is the manifestation for this day. I teach the teachings that the Bahai’s teach on sexuality, and am open and honest regards my sexual and emotional identity I do not believe I have strayed from god I believe that it's his place to judge if I am a good and true spirit and I pray that he finds me one. I struggled for a long time with my faith and my sexuality and have come to believe that the faith needs me here also the gay community also needs me for who else will say the name Baha'u'llah to our brothers and sisters if not us gay Baha'is. They need his message as much anyone else. Being gay or lesbian does not make us morally unfit and the only reason as a young man I distanced myself from the faith was due to prejudices in my self and my family. I CAN IN NO WAY harm the cause of god and it will grow the way that god intended it to. I just pray and hope that young gay and lesbian Baha'is find this site and read what’s in it.

Yours in unity
Geoffrey

Allah'u'abha Geoffrey,

Thank you for your valuable contribution to GLBSP, and my best wishes to you.

Barb